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Now I HATE my car that just four days ago I LOVED. No, I am not fickle. My car is just stupid! I admire people who drive old cars and take care of them, and don’t always need the latest and greatest new models…but I am not sure I am cool enough to have an old car anymore . My Mercedes is 13 years old, and drives like a dream ….that is until it became stupid. It all began on the 4th of July when I decided to finally have my “dull moment” and went to the beach. While waiting to pull into a prime parking spot my car stalled. Nothing is more embarrassing than to be sitting in a car that will not move. Two nice strong men pushed me to the side so I could call AAA for rescue. Oops, no cell phone! Dumb, dumb, dumb. Next I get to meet the ice cream truck driver who is dressed up as Captain America. “I like your outfit” I say, ” can I borrow your cell phone?”
Torture: sitting in my beach chair, beside my stupid car in the parking lot, baking in 90 degrees of Cape Cod humidity, just steps away from the beautiful ocean.
Scene 2: Husband arrives home, gets in car and STARTS IT! “Honey, you just are driving it wrong”
HUH? I immediately decide to not bake him any cookies.
Flash forward one week: in line at bank drive up window: car stalls..panic sets in…again. I decide to leave car and make deposit in bank so I have time to pray. I storm heaven: “Please God I am begging just let it start please!” It starts! Thank you Lord! I am driving past the bank into the next parking lot and BAM it stalls again! This time it will not restart ….ugh! My friend picks me up.
Scene 3: Husband arrives home, we drive down to see my abandoned car. He gets in, it STARTS!
“Honey” he dares to say, ” you are just driving it wrong, you don’t know how to drive this car”
HUH? Now I am thinking I may never, ever, bake him another cookie for as long as I live.
So an hour later I go try to start the car and it will not start. He gets in, thinking he can start it since clearly I just don’t know how to drive my car correctly …and thank you Jesus, it doesn’t start for him either! I glare at him in the most loving way……Now, the moment I was waiting for:
“Honey, I apologize, it wasn’t you, it was the car”
DUH!
I decide to bake him cookies again, someday.
The first day without the car was a nightmare for me. I felt trapped like a rat….could not go shopping ….next day, even worse, I am in such a nasty mood….I feel so isolated! Day three, my husband gets to run me around…this is kinda fun having a driver! I feel like a New York socialite: “James, I need to be at the Club tomorrow morning and we must leave the house at 10 am”
“Yes Ma’am …”
I will not tell you what else he said.
Day four: Being without the car is strangely liberating! Now I really don’t even want to go anywhere! The refrigerator has never been so empty. Husband is happy to order pizza every night. I forage in the garden and gather eggs from my chickens. Laundry is all done. Dogs are all bathed and groomed. Weird! Best of all, I have spent no money at all…not even online.
The mechanic made a house call but the part he brought didn’t work so I am still Car-less in Yarmouthport ….
Think I will go for a float in my pool before I summon James for a drive to Trader Joes.
There are two other cars sitting in our driveway but I refuse to drive them…..
They are my husbands sports cars and let’s face it, I could be at risk for “Driving It Wrong”
“James, I need to do some errands in town. Could you please bring the car around for me at 3?”
I could get used to this.
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